toseegrey:amorphousd:(via ozobsessed)

“Napoleon’s final defeat came at Waterloo. Must’ve been embarrassing.You’re the fucking emperor. You conquered Europe…only to lose in a place with a stupid name like Waterloo…or Watergate, or Whitewater. Note to politicians: Stay on land.”

(via routinemalaise)

-Augustus Hill

Hill: You farted!
Beecher: I didn’t.
Hill: Pee-fucking-yew!
Beecher: I didn’t fart.
Hill: Damn, man. Five hours ‘til dawn and I gotta be in a Goddamn glass box with the king of stink. Like the Gulf fucking War Syndrome.
Beecher: You farted.
Hill: Oh, me?
Beecher: Yeah. You’re saying I farted to cover your own tracks.
Hill: No. You’re saying I’m covering my tracks to cover yours.
(Beecher starts rhyming.)
Hill: Fuck you!
Beecher: Light a match.
Hill: I swear, Beecher, you need to go see a doctor, man. Smelly farts are a sign of something seriously wrong on the inside.
Beecher: I didn’t fart. (He farts loudly a few seconds later.)
Hill: Oh, fuck, man! (Beecher laughs.)

Oz,S02E03,Great Men

Hill: A bunch of men sit in cells on the brink of a new year, a new century, a new millenium. A thousand years. They stare into the future and all they see is themselves in those same cells. Black or white, here we are on the precipice. We either hang on or we fall off. Together, or separately. It’s our choice. It’s up to us. It’s up to you and me. Happy New Year!

Hill: You gotta take him to ER!
Vahue: Hill, I go out there, they gonna kick my fucking ass.
Hill: They gonna be kicking our asses anyway, brother.
Vahue: No way. This ain’t my fault, Hill. He is definitely not my problem, man. I did not start all this shit, Hill!
Hill: What difference does it make, huh? Look, you think ‘cause of who you are you can pick and choose when to take responsibility. You can’t. Sometimes you gotta step up. All right? Look at him! Look at him! Dobbins and that cello, that’s all he had, man. That’s like me and my chair. That’s who he was. That’s like you and basketball.

Oz S01E08, A Game of Checkers

Hill: Wait a second, man. I gotta ask you a question.
Alvarez: What?
Hill: Yo, you working bedpans, you ever see any opportunities at getting out?
Alvarez: Get out? What, you mean like escape?
Hill: Yeah, man.
Alvarez: You trying to escape, Hill?
Hill: I been exploring the possibilities.
Alvarez: Right. OK, well, hospital ward, that’s like a dead end. ‘Cause if there was a way out, my ass’d be like a vapor. But hey, you find a crack, you let me know, all right? ‘Cause I’d be there right behind you, ok?

Oz | S02E07, Animal Farm

Oz Cast hosts “Breaking the Law”